October 11th, 2020
I am currently reading Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves. It was recommended by a colleague of mine who is starting an executive coaching business. I will be completing part one of this action plan which involves listing my scores from the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal test, picking one EQ skill to focus on, and selecting three strategies. To summarize the book so far: Everything you see, smell, hear, taste, and touch travels through your body in the form of electric signals. These electric signals pass through your body until they reach your brain. When they enter the brain they must travel from the back where the spinal cord attaches to the frontal lobe (behind your forehead) where rational logical thinking takes place, however, they must pass through the limbic part of your brain, which is where emotions are produced, to get there. The rational part of your brain can’t stop the emotion “felt” by the limbic system, but they do influence each other and are in constant communication. This communication is the physical source of emotional intelligence, also known as emotional quotient or EQ. Studies have shown that a person’s intelligence quotient (IQ) was not a good predictor of success, but rather a person’s emotional intelligence (EQ). It’s impossible for a person to have any sort of rational thought without emotions coming along for the ride. The issue is that we are not always aware of these emotions and how they affect us. The good news is that emotional intelligence, unlike normal intelligence (IQ) and personality, can be improved. The purpose of the book is to help a person increase their emotional intelligence so they can achieve professional success and personal excellence. There are four emotional intelligence skills that pair up with two primary competencies: personal competence and social competence. Personal competence is made up of self-awareness and self-management skills. Personal competence is your ability to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behaviors and tendencies. Social competence is made up of social awareness and relationship skills. Social competence is your ability to be aware of and understand other people’s emotions and behaviors. Self-awareness is your ability to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen. This includes keeping on top of how you tend to respond to specific situations and certain people. Self-management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and positively direct your behavior. This means managing your emotional reactions to all situations and people. Social awareness is your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and get what is really going on. This often means understanding what other people are thinking and feeling, even if you don’t feel the same way. Relationship management is your ability to use awareness of your emotions and the emotions of others to manage interactions successfully. Letting emotional awareness guide clear communication and effective handling of conflict. I took the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal test on October 10th, 2020 and the results from my test were as follows:
- Overall Emotional Intelligence Score: 61
- Personal Competence: 65
- Self-Awareness: 57
- Self-Management: 73
- Social Competence: 58
- Social Awareness: 58
- Relationship Management: 57
- Personal Competence: 65
It would seem that I do not have a very high emotional intelligence (although it is interesting to note that my self-management is higher than the others). Scores 59 and below indicate a concern that must be addressed; Scores between 60 and 69 indicate skills that should be worked on; Scores between 70 and 79 indicate that with a little improvement, the skill could be a strength; Scores between 80 and 89 indicate strengths to build on; and Scores between 90 and 100 indicate a strength to be capitalized on. My guess is that I undershot my level of skill, but that is ok, because I think it indicates that these are things that I would like to improve. I think that the EQ skill that I would like to see improved the most would be the self-awareness skill. I think that would be the easiest and most impactful one to start with and actually that’s the one the was recommended. The Emotional Intelligence Appraisal website stated that what was bringing my self-awareness score down was 1) Not fully grasping the role I play in creating the difficulties I encounter, 2) Not spotting when others influence my emotional state, and 3) Not fully appreciating the impact my behavior has upon others. The strategies that are recommended are 1) Visiting my values (strategy #11), 2) Knowing who and what pushes my buttons (strategy #5), and 3) Observing the ripple effect from my emotions (strategy #2). The book also recommends selecting an EQ mentor, but I think that may be more difficult due to pandemic. I will likely revisit these at some point in the future.