January 3rd, 2023
I have a goal for 2023 to understand more about my sexuality. I have always been drawn to women I find attractive and I desire intimate relations with them, but I have often not really understood why I felt that attraction. I didn’t understand what it was that made me attracted to that person. This sometimes made it difficult to engage in a conversation or a relationship with this person as I didn’t really know what my true intentions were. I have also struggled with the notion of monogamy. I have since come to the conclusion that humans did not evolve to be monogamous, but evolved to be hypersexual in a social group environment. I think the development of monogamy has been a part of socio-cultural evolution as opposed to biological evolution. Generally I think many political and religious institutions have attempted to control human sexuality and keep it in check which seems to confirm that non-mongamous sexuality is in line with human nature and evolution. I think in large part humans have been socialized to default to monogamy within the contexts of a marrital relationships, but that is not the default biological position. I don’t exactly know why this happened.
As it stands I am a sexual person. I am drawn to having sexual relations with attractive people, but there also seems to be a social stigma associated with this, even though I feel the biological inclinations. I do have the socialized desire to be in a lifelong committed relationship with one sexual partner, but that seems to be in conflict with my own human nature. I do think I can find a healthy balance between the social and biological though, and I am going to spending time exploring this.
One note on a particular advantage to monogamy is that it helps to limit the spread of STD’s. Within this notion of hypersexuality between multiple partners being biologically normal, I think the socialized behavior that makes a person prefer fewer partners is good to help mitigate this. I actually went to go get tested for STD’s today, just to establish a baseline sexual health although I’m pretty confident that I don’t have anything. I haven’t had a sexual partner in quite a while, but I would like to become more sexually active this year, but I want to make sure that I am behaving safely and ethically. I will probably write more on this in future posts.